Food Slang We Can Stop Using Any Day Now

There is a lot of food slang out there that is just straight-up cringey. For various reasons, from sexualizing food to misuse to being downright annoying, these slang food words need to go away. Respectfully.

I chimed in on a Reddit in r/Cooking and wow, were there a lot of opinions on food slang that are widely disliked. That made me think about the food slang I can't stand either. I agree with many of the sentiments that were shared by Redditors, so much so that I was inspired to write about all of the food slang we can stop using any day now. 

Here’s a link to the original Reddit thread (which is a great read!): What cooking term or name do you just dislike for no reason?

Note: This article is meant to be humorous and IS incredibly sarcastic; that’s my sense of humor. Not everyone will agree with the slang that needs to cease being used, and that’s fine. Enjoy. 

Referring to Foods as “Crack”, like Crack Dip or Crack Pie 

If you’re on Pinterest, you’ve seen this. Recipes with mouth-watering dips and desserts that are referred to as “crack”. This is essentially equating said foodstuff to being as good as or as addictive as crack, re: the addictive street drug. Besides the obvious cringe of comparing any food to a drug as addicting and life-damaging as crack, I seriously doubt the food bloggers who use this terminology have actually tried crack. I love bacon, like A LOT, but I’d never refer to candied bacon as candied bacon crack. I don't think you can become physically addicted to any one type of food. So let’s stop using it, mmmKay? 

Plus, are people actually searching for “crack pie” or “crack dip” on Google? From a practical blogging standpoint, I can’t imagine that it’s good for search engine optimization (SEO). 

Referring to Foods as Sexy, Slutty, or Better Than Sex

Similar to using “crack” as a food descriptor, referring to foods as “sexy”, “slutty”, or “better than sex” needs to go. I don’t find food sexy, and I’d wager most people feel the same way. Not to kink shame or yuck someone else’s yum, but let’s stop pushing adjectives usually reserved for people onto food. I know we eat with our eyes first, and food can certainly be made to look appealing and certainly appetizing, but let’s keep the adjectives on the right side of the line and not sexualize our food.

Let’s face it, if your slutty brownies are better than sex, well, I think that says more about you than your baking ability. 

Referring to Recipes as Dump, like Dump Cake

Dump = poop. I understand that using “dump” to refer to a recipe is meant to communicate how easy it is to make - "simply dump the ingredients into your crockpot and that’s it!" - but, c’mon. Why can’t we use words like “easy” or “simple” instead of words that are associated with going to the bathroom?

Again, are people actually searching using this term? If so, please enlighten me.

Calling Sandwiches Sandos or Sammiches

Just, no. I’ll let Sammie (or Sammy) slide, but Sando and Sammiches both need to die in a fire. Why? They both use the same amount of syllables and therefore aren’t shortcuts when said out loud. Let’s be adults and call it a sandwich. 

On second thought, quit calling it a Sammie/y too. That’s a name commonly used for a person, a name I don’t care to associate with eating a delicious sandwich.

Using Mouthfeel as a Food Descriptor

Especially when “creamy” precedes “mouthfeel”. I first came across mouthfeel as a descriptor for describing craft beer, but it has crept over into describing food as well. Mouthfeel is about the physical sensations a food or drink creates in the mouth, and is not directly related to taste. So is there really any reason to use this terminology when describing a dish? There are less awkward ways to describe a food’s texture, if it's even really relevant to a recipe.

Using Unctuous as a Food Descriptor

Unctuous is as unpleasing a word as moist is. It’s not a word I hear and think “OOOO wow, that (food) MUST be amazing.” I get that unctuous has its place in the food world, but it’s overused, misused (as creamy, when in fact its correct usage is oily), and unpleasant sounding. 

Calling Chicken Tenders Chicken Tendies 

If you’re over the age of 10 and call chicken tenders, “tendies”, it’s just plain creepy. Like the sexualizing food trend, infantilizing food by using “cutesy” names has no place in the food world. Damn you Rachel Ray!

Please, please, please can we stop doing this? I just can't enjoy lunch when it consists of chicken tendies served with crack dip and followed with better than sex bars for dessert.

Marry Me Chicken

Or “marry me” anything. For me, the phrase immediately makes me think of traditional (re: antiquated) gender roles. I picture a woman in the kitchen slaving over dinner night after night in hopes that preparing delicious food will convince her male suitor to marry her because of her incredible cooking prowess.

The phrase, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is SO annoying. Aren't men likewise offended by being equated to Neanderthals who only think about food (and slutty brownies)? Let’s quit perpetuating antiquated gender stereotypes. 

Deconstructed

Calling something “deconstructed” has lost all allure it (maybe) once had. It used to be a novel idea, now it is overused and misused so much that it just needs to go away. When I think of something as deconstructed, I immediately think of a competitor on a timed cooking show who royally messed up their dish, ran out of time, and had to call it deconstructed to try and save face. 

Also, calling something deconstructed is such a missed opportunity to create a dish with a new name. Like, fine you can describe something as a sort of deconstructed dish, but why not make it your own? 

That's my list; I'm sure there's more to be added to the Food Slang We Can Stop Using Any Day Now. What makes your list of offending food slang?

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